About John Van Arnam…
I am a Dad. I volunteer as a basketball coach, I volunteer as an advocate, I have assisted search engines to create family safe search practices, and I am the Founder of The Third Talk™ Foundation Inc. A non-profit 501(c)3, non-partisan, non-denominational, non-biased preventive education platform. I am a subject matter expert on the prevention of childhood exposure to online pornography. I have a Psychology degree from Syracuse University with a focus in Child Psychology. I am a passionate advocate for children. As an independent agent, I worked with Yahoo! Google and then MSFT to help curb children’s exposure to online pornography.
I have identified a significant breach of the protection of kids in our homes and the nation and have dedicated myself to spread awareness of this problem and the solution. The problem is that there are 12,000,000,000 porn videos viewed by underage kids in the United States every year without a comprehensive campaign to provide an alternative message to kids, showcasing for them that online porn is not “sex-ed”. This porn exposure can cause aggression, depression, and loneliness. It may color our children’s future relationships and how they treat others; tarnishing sexuality before a child can spell ‘sexuality’. Historically this conversation has proven very difficult for families.
By taking 16 years of protecting kids from this content, and experience with the reasons other initiatives have failed, and combining that with a coach like demeanor and real-world dialog, I have been able to construct a forty-five-minute message that showcases the reasons children should choose not to view this content on their own. I am able to do that without shame, blame or using colorful language; and the message is working.
Learn more about John’s Talk…
Title: The Third Talk
Description: The Third Talk™ is information for kids and their parents about growing up in a porn-soaked internet environment and how to manage that within your family’s belief system, and nothing else. There are no ideological beliefs incorporated, and this is not “sex-ed”. The talk is a prevention-based education platform, designed to help children avoid online pornography.
What would the news headline about your talk? “Public discussion of Children’s Exposure to Pornography Leads to Sweeping Changes in North Carolina”.
What do you want people to learn from your talk? That there is a simple resolution to the silent epidemic our young children endure every day regarding online pornography. I want the audience to know the sheer scope of the problem, what we as grown-ups have tried so far, why those efforts have failed, and how simple communication between families is not only the one true answer, it is also the cheapest, the most easily accomplished, and the only solution we haven’t tried.
What action items do you want people to take away from your talk? I want people to speak out loud about online pornography’s effect on kids, why children shouldn’t see it and the easy solution. There is no “homework”, memorization, software to download, CD’s or DVD’s to buy, nor any data to send into any source. My goal is to have people openly discuss online pornography’s effects on young kids and by doing so help children avoid it.
Learn more about John…
Where is your hometown? Cazenovia NY, 13035
What are your hobbies? Kayaking, Basketball, Gym Parent, Cooking
What are you passionate about? My family, Protecting children, Coaching Basketball
What is the best compliment you’ve received? “You’re the real deal.”
What do you want to be remembered for? Fearlessly and stoically staring down huge societal problems and fixing them. I want my tombstone to read “He helped kids.”
How do you push the boundaries? Unfortunately, pushing the boundaries is what I do for a living. No one wants to talk about a young child’s exposure to online pornography; no one. Not the DOJ, DOE, DHHS, churches don’t, parents don’t, the porn industry doesn’t, school administrators and SRO officers don’t. There is so much division, resentment and misunderstanding regarding this subject, that bringing it up gets the door closed in your face for a myriad of reasons. To bring all the ‘reasons’ together in one place, I have simply been told the topic is ‘too controversial’. I have heard from Senators, Congressmen and Women, churches, school administrators and others who have all told me the same thing: “It is so wonderful what you are doing! It is needed and important! Our kids today need to hear your message and understand the online challenges they face. ‘I mean ……. I can’t help you … but it is so great that you’re doing what you’re doing.’” I push the boundaries by fighting fear every single day, and by not taking “no” for an answer.
What does your happy place look like? Happy Place 1: on a river with friends and family in a Kayak, or in a canoe with my dog. Happy Place 2: In the car, radio on, coffee in hand, cruising down the highway to deliver a Talk.
What is one thing that you would like to share that isn’t commonly known about you? I am a sheep in Wolf’s clothing.
Thoughts on Charlotte…
What part of town do you live in? I live 25 minutes outside the city in Mooresville near Lake Norman.
What draws you to Charlotte? A combination of the Southern ideals of politeness and courtesy, and the growing city’s modern outlook. It is a powerful combination. I like Noda its restaurants and atmosphere. I like to be able to get out into nature, hike, bike, and camp. Charlotte is a great combination of these pleasures, with a dynamic culture, and nightlife. It has everything! A great small “big city”.
Where do you see Charlotte in 5 years? I see Charlotte leading the country in the strategy of thoughtful city growth and cultural implementation. Charlotte is a combination of several very cool things about cities, and I see it becoming a city to look to and emulate.
Our most important question…
What animal will most likely be our future overlords? Water Bears (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tardigrade)