LIVE: Chip Edens – Foxhole Friends

Rector at Chist Church Charlotte, Chip creates amazing conversations between faith and culture.

What is a foxhole friend? 

It goes something like this. A guy wakes up and says to himself, “this is an amazing day. I think I’m going to go for a walk to enjoy this day.” He saw how beautiful creation was and was happy, happy, happy. While he was walking, he fell into a whole and was hurt. He thought: How am I going to get out of this hole?

After a while, he noticed that nobody seemed to notice he was in this dark place. He was hurt and alone. He heard someone above him and they looked down and said, “man you’re in a hole…must be tough. See ya later.”

It got darker and colder. He went from being from a hole of pain to a hole of hopelessness. Someone else walked by and said, “man you’re in a hole. What’d you do to get in there? Do you have some sort of problem? Get your act together and get yourself out of it.”

That hole went from a hole of pain to a hole of shame [should have already mastered everything.]

Just before he was about to give up all hope, some other person he didn’t know jumped down into the hole with him.  He said, “what are you doing? Don’t you see how deep and dark it is here? What are we going to do to get out of it?

This guy looked at him and said, “Buddy I heard you crying so I came to get in this hole with you because I want you to know I’ve been in this hole before and I know the way out.”

Slowly, relying on each other, they went from the hole of darkness into the light.


Do we really know what social media is in today’s age? Social media ‘friends’ we don’t even know. If were really honest, what we’re missing in our lives more than anything else is what keeps us alive. Intimacy and true connection.

Loneliest place in the US? San Francisco…what in the world?! There are a ton of people there! Why in a world of 7 billion people should any of us be lonely?

Loneliness correlates directly with hopelessness. Friendship correlates directly with hope and resilience.


There are three kinds of friendship:

1. Pleasure – “ESPN” friends. The ones you blow off steam with. We need these friends.

2. Advantage [Transactional] – Relationships that our economic system is built upon. When the advantage isn’t there, the relationship fails.

3. Virtue – Based on nothing other than a commitment to the other individual. The basis of foxhole friendship.


Look around at your friends – what group would you put them in?
The average person only has one true friend. That’s not enough and not what we should settle for. How do we know if someone is a true friend?  We can’t know until something happens, we find ourselves in pieces.

Foxhole friends are real people. Fellow struggles who are willing to accept your truth because they are willing to accept your truth. They speak truth. Sometimes we can’t handle the truth, but we need to hear it. They are willing to be with us through all the seasons of life, whatever happens.


Blog written by Sara Beth Jones [@jonesysb].